"The only odd thing was that suddenly I was a vegetarian" (Kaysen 38). Susanna Kaysen decided to finally commit suicide after all the debate she had with herself between doing it or not. If she died, there would be no pressure, no homework, no debate. She took fifty aspirin, went down to the kitchen to drink milk, and fainted over a meat counter. After she had recovered from this incident she no longer desired to eat meat. She became a vegetarian and it was not even by choice. Once I read this line I already figured out what it meant. The last thing she saw before fainting was "bruised, bleeding, and imprisoned in a tight wrapping" (Kaysen 38) meat. This picture of the meat meant more to her than it seems. It symbolized her suicidal action because she felt hurt, stuck, and pressured, just like the meat, and the meat portrays her. Because she felt like how the meat felt, she attempted suicide. She regretted it and would never do it again. That is the reason she wanted nothing to do with meat so that it does not remind her of what she did to herself. This quote stood out to me because it got me to think critically and it finally showed me how the narrator was changing, physically and mentally. Physically, because she was now a vegetarian. Mentally, because from this attempt of suicide, her life was slowly changing. This line shows how gradually the author is becoming different and her life is changing, which foreshadows the more changes she will go through throughout her life, and the book, because of her mental disorder.
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